Just for laughs, I thought I’d compare (or rather, contrast) a typical weekend these days with one back in “the day.” I chose senior year of college for my data point.
Friday
5:00 THEN: Nap time! Precious sleep allows for late night rally that will last into wee morning hours.
5:00 NOW: Cat nap! Gets me enough energy to throw together uninspiring but kid-pleasing dinner of Kraft Mac & Cheese and chicken nuggets … or to buy a pizza.
8:00 THEN: Pop off the bottle cap of a nice cold Bud Light. Play profane card games that are significantly below IQ level but are right on target after a week of studying, writing papers, and going to classes.
8:00 NOW: Finish up my glass of Cabernet, settle in for one of the following … a Netflix or Wenesday’s DVR’d show, The Middle. Or more likely, no Cabernet for us tonight – have to pick up children from basketball/wrestling practice and make Target run.
9:30 NOW: Youngest Son logs off Minecraft, informs me he has no clean pants to wear tomorrow. Start first of gazillion loads of laundry.
9:30 THEN: Roommates and I watch VCR tape of Monday’s Melrose Place. My favorite pair of jeans is dirty so I borrow a pair from L who is the only one in our place who keeps up with her laundry.
11:30 THEN: Heading out to the delis! (That’s Williamsburg-speak for bars, or pubs.)
11:30 NOW: Heading to bed if not already asleep.
1:30am THEN: Taco Bell run!
1:30am NOW: Bathroom run for middle of night pee!
Saturday
8:00 THEN: On 5th – or possibly – 6th hour of sleep.
8:00 NOW: On 5th – or possibly – 6th cup of coffee, booking it on interstate to take Oldest Son to tournament.
11:00 THEN: Might be opening eyes to let in sun from cracks in dusty, venetian blinds.
11:00 NOW: Starting to close eyes while sitting on hard bleachers wishing I’d bought that overpriced stadium seat with the cushion and back support.
2:00 THEN: Headed to weekend job at Jordache Outlet where I greet customers, ring up sales, and fold jeans.
2:00 NOW: Headed home from tournament, or settling in for second round.
4:30 THEN: Heating up Chef Boyardee in work room microwave, imagining how different life will be when I have my yippy skippy college diploma and I’m living in the “real world.”
4:30 NOW: Setting up table for Girl Scout Cookie Booth while four 2nd grade girls run circles around me, giggling and knocking boxes over.
7:00 THEN: Leave work, grateful I don’t have to close.
7:00 NOW: Leave Girl Scout booth, grateful Husband has cooked dinner.
8:30 THEN: Round 2 of Weekend Partying begins!
8:30 NOW: Round 2 of Weekend Laundry begins!
11:30 THEN: Watch first 10 minutes of Saturday Night Live before heading to Fraternity Row.
11:30 NOW: Still love SNL but watch it on YouTube because we’re either already asleep by that time on Saturday night or have forgotten to turn it on.
SUNDAY
9:00 NOW: Write column behind locked door. Background noise suggests steady levels of laughter mixed with bouts of sibling rivalry, Nickelodeon’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and clothes dryer kicking around Youngest Son’s pants-zipper.
9:00 THEN: Are you kidding?!
11:30 NOW: Mass.
11:30 THEN: Mass.
2:00 THEN: Recover from weekend. Hang around joking with roommates while Nickelodeon’s Ren and Stimpy plays in background. Procrastinate on writing papers. Idly read a few pages of assigned novels (English major). Think about doing load of laundry.
2:00 NOW: Recover from work week. Hang around with family while HGTV’s Fixer Upper or ESPN’s Sports Center plays in background. Procrastinate on grading papers. Idly read a few pages of novel I assigned to class (English teacher). More laundry.
7:00 NOW: After dinner, watch 60 Minutes. During commercial breaks, oversee older children’s progress in making school lunches, putting away laundry, showering, etc.
7:00 THEN: Writing essay on T.S. Eliot’s The Wasteland.
9:00 NOW: Tuck my kids in, read them a chapter from a book I loved when I was a little girl. In some deep recess of my mind – although satisfied – wonder how I got so old.
9:00 THEN: Speed read final pages of Joseph Conrad’s The Secret Agent. Wonder what it’ll be like to be old like Mr. Verloc and hope to have a happier marriage than his. And also not to become a spy.
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