Entire days used to disappear trying to catch up on email. Well, that was the "old" me. The "new" me has an iPhone.
My last cellular device was two years old and a bottom of the line model without Internet. It's now clear to me that pre-iPhone, I was a shell of a person. Why? Because our only home computer is a 2006 PC, moodier than a 13 year old girl.
With an iPhone, I can write email, check Facebook, or write this post ... anywhere! The only drawback is that within minutes of owning it, I developed an acute case of paranoia. The sales associate, Charles, told me I really ought to get the insurance because although I’d paid the low price of $200.00 for my lifeline to the 21st century, the device in my hands was actually worth hundreds more. But I told him I thought I had homeowner’s insurance that would cover the phone and that I would keep it in its box until I found out for sure.
Within minutes, however, my Precious was calling me.
From its box, it beckoned. I needed to go the Boy Scout store, but I hadn’t done a web search before leaving home and our Garmin was in the other car. I knew that my iPhone could help me. The internet was no longer doled out to me by some troublesome PC child who sometimes complied and sometimes did not. I now had a reliable piece of technology... something that even I – dum dum of all things technical – could not misuse. “Apple products are intuitive,” people told me. No more chasing icons around looking for the right one. No more whimsical touch screens. Consistency. Compliance. Ease. On this you cannot place a price tag.
So, cautiously, I took it out of its box ... and it has not been far from my hands since. Right now, for example, it sits four inches from my cursed personal computer, and I am already contriving a coup which will put all of my Word documents in the palm of my hand. My precious.
Not only did I get to that Boy Scout store without an address or our Garmin, but yesterday I told the phone to text my husband about the banana bread I left for him. That’s right. Voice recognition at a stoplight.
I am in the heady, first stages of love.
The only problem with my new iPhone love is that everyone wants him, and I am prone not only to paranoia but also to jealousy. If I express even a moment’s hesitation about a feature, ten technically confident people topple toward me to offer assistance if … they … can … just … touch … my … Precious.
The Scout Store in Springfield, Virginia is not in a particularly dangerous strip mall, but yesterday when I held my Precious in my palm, everyone within my peripheral vision was suspect, even the young man in Council uniform who tallied up my purchase. In the nearby Rite Aid – where I risked everything for a bottle of water and a package of crackers because I’d skipped lunch in order to sit at the phone store, deliberating over the pros and cons of a Droid –vs – an iPhone – a man in sweat pants and a dirty jacket sidled up to the counter and waited. What was he up to? I wondered, my iPhone heavy in my pocket. Did he just want cigarettes or was he going to hold up the cashier, demanding the manager open the safe and that all customers surrender any hand held devices made by Apple.
"No, I don’t want your Samsung droid," he'd say. "Give me the good stuff! I know someone in here got an iPhone or an iPad!” While this dubious dirty jacketed man asked for Marlboro Lites, I planned my escape route.
Alas, such measures were unnecessary. The man only wanted his cigs. But next time, I may not be so lucky because others are pulled by the power of … my Precious, while only the purest of heart overcome phone envy, comfortably kicking back with their knockoffs.
And while it’s true that as a tech dum dum, I am still unaware of its true power, my Precious has already moved me into a new millennia … for now, I am no longer thirty deep into unread email and I can easily slide in and out of Cyberspace.
If only my kids would stop begging me to play Angry Birds.
Like many moms, Kathy drives a mini-van full of booster seats and Disney/Pixar DVD’s. When she’s not chauffeuring her kids, ages 10 and under, to school and activities, she teaches for Prince William County Public Schools, writes fiction and poetry, and blogs about the challenges and rewards of being a mom to young children.
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