YOUNG LUNGS: 'Not a Rare Phenomenon'

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by Morgan Smalley Manassas In seventh grade I cried because I couldn’t write like Chuck Palahniuk. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t master his perfectly brooding tone. I remember finishing a story and proudly bestowing it upon my friends to read, then watching, to my disappointment, as their countenances contorted into feigned appreciation.

“It’s soooo…good!”

I knew better than to believe them. A pessimist at the time, I thought if I couldn’t write something even vaguely Palahniuk-esque, I might as well give up. Which I did for a while.   

I signed up for Creative Writing my junior year with the YOLO-mentality typical of teenage hooligans of the time. I’d been told it was the easiest "A" you could get. 

So when I got a five-page assignment in the first week, I was a little shocked, but out of perseverance or stubbornness or a combination of both, I maintained my determination to not take the class seriously. I conjured up a character, Vanessa Turner; the most selfish, ignorant, racist, pig of a person to ever “exist,” and pounded away at my keyboard like a chimpanzee playing Chopsticks. I didn’t care how bad or good it was, I just wanted to laugh. 

When I turned the story in the next day, I expected chastisement for its vulgarity, so I was surprised at my teacher’s suggestion to get it published. 

Overnight, my attitude did a 180 kick spin and landed wearing glasses and toting a Panera gift-card. I spent that year honing my writing skills and perfecting the art of humor. As it turned out, Vanessa Turner was not a rare phenomenon; I could consistently write compelling and funny stories.

It was my individual style, not my attempts to emulate others that made me successful. I couldn’t write like Chuck Palahniuk because I wasn’t Chuck Palahniuk. I was—am Morgan Smalley.  And apparently good at writing comedic satires.

Sometimes I watch TV shows (*cough* Glee *cough*) and think I could have ended that so much better. Sometimes I watch skits on SNL or Key and Peele and think I have way funnier ideas that that. That may sound cocky, and I guess it is, but ambition has to start somewhere.   

Now, in twelfth grade, I read Chuck Palahniuk and laugh because I can’t write like him, and that is perfectly fine. 

Young Lungs is a regular featuring spotlighting the exemplary writing of students who live in Prince William County. To submit your work, go to http://bristowbeat.com/young-lungs/

This work is an opinion of the author and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Bristow Beat, its staff or sponsors. 

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