Photos of Chapel Springs leadership with their spouses.By Stacy Shaw
Chapel Springs Church in Bristow wants to do more than save marriages; they want to help them thrive. That is the impetus of the Marriage Series the church hosts every July.
This summer, the marriage series, “You Want a Great Marriage, Don’t You?” will culminate with “Practice Your Promise," the last of four Wednesday night sessions, and will be presented by Pastor Heather Bennet of Chapel Springs Church and her husband, Dan Bennett.
Pastor Bennett said her seminar is called “Practice Your Promise” because it refers to the promise couples make in their wedding vows.
“What we’re doing when you make vows, it is a promise; it’s a promise to live out the commitment,” Bennett said.
The seminar focuses on the idea that married people need to actively practice being engaged in their partnership so that their marriages grow stronger.
Bennett believes some people do not fully understand their commitment, thinking that as long as they have stayed married, they have fulfilled their vows. However, she wants couples to expand upon their understanding of their vows and ultimately of their marriages.
“The promise is much more than that. It is supporting one another, and helping one another, and winning in life together,” Bennett said.
She explains that as the years pass, sometimes it becomes harder and harder to make a marriage work, so couples have to work at it. However, it is not supposed to be tedious work.
Bennett wants to teach couples that thriving in a marriage often just means recognizing that both spouses are on the same team. They should not be competitors, because when they are, they both lose.
“One of the things we are going to talk about evening is the fact that when you wound your spouse, you’re actually wounding yourself,” she said.
Wounding a spouse, she explained, can be as mundane as a hurtful jab, or it could be something more, like when one partner does not support the other’s dream. But, couples who actively thwart each’s other’s efforts, are really hurting themselves, Bennett explained.
“When I encourage him, and I help him win the things that he is battling in life and going through in life, I in turn help me to win too because we are in this together.”
Bennett said that in her marriage, she and her husband actively support one another. That is one reason she is excited to have him host the seminar with her because he helped her to fulfill her dreams when she imagines that another man may not have.
Bennett also wants to be clear that the series is not just for people who are having trouble in their marriages. It is a kind of tune-up that any couple can use to make their marriage stronger. In fact, the whole idea behind the series was to get couples to be more proactive in their relationships.
“Rather than try to revive [a failing marriage], I think it’s really better to learn about how to be healthy so you can be preemptive...I really want to encourage, especially younger couples, as they are just beginning this journey, to start practicing certain things: learn how to have fun together; put God first in your marriage; learn how to respect and love one another; and learn how to practice the things you have promised to one another.”
When couples work on making their marriage stronger from the start, Bennett believes it lays the foundation for a healthy marriage in the future.
Not to say that a marriage experiencing problems cannot be saved. She encourages everyone to attend the session. In fact, she noted that in years past, the series has encouraged many couples to seek help and work on saving their marriages.
Furthermore, she noted that Chapel Springs Church has made a commitment to support couples, not only in July but throughout the year. The church will be emailing members of its congregation email tools for spicing up their marriages, such as ideas for date nights, including active dates that engage men as well as women.
Sometimes making a marriage work can be as simple as a new conversation starter, something that gets away from “How was work?”
Bennet wants couples to be able to dream together and really talk about their aspirations.
Bennett said she loves that Chapel Springs Church hosts the Marriage Series each year because its demonstrates the church’s true commitment to fostering strong relationships.
“One of the things I love about our church and our pastoral staff: we love our congregation and we love healthy, happy families. One of the ways is to have happy, healthy children and families is to have healthy, happy marriages,” Bennett said.
She also believes that when a marriage incorporates God’s love, it becomes stronger.
“ find hope as we show them Jesus. He has a lot of hope to offer marriages.”
As marriages include men and women working together, despite their differences, Bennett said Chapel Springs Church is blessed to have three females on staff to provide a diverse voice and support women in the congregation.
“I do think it brings something different to the table because we think differently,” she said, explaining that it helps women to feel heard. It also encouraged other women to become more involved with their congregation.
Chapel Springs will present “Practice Your Promise” July 29 at 7:30 at their Bristow campus in the auditorium. All (adults) are welcome.
Many of the concepts behind Chapel Spring’s Marriage Series is based upon the book “Married People: How Your Church Can Build Marriages that Last,” by Ted Lowe and Doug Fields.
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